Tea Time.

Marley wanted to have a Fancy Tea Party for her fifth birthday, and with some help, I made it happen. Yesterday morning, my home was a flurry of pink and doilies and daintiness like you've never seen. I actually suggested the idea a few months ago, thinking it could be something low-key and relatively inexpensive. That kid cannot get used to things like last year's Pump It Up extravaganza. For one thing, there's no budget for that kind of annual celebration. For another, I believe in everything, including super-sized birthday parties, in moderation.

I was really trying to go Old School on this one. No jumpy houses, no ponies, no crazy crafts or projects, and no hired entertainers (I actually told Todd to prepare some magic tricks in case we were running out of things to do; he does the quarter-behind-the-ear-thing very well. It's the Old Man in him, the same one that settles down with a scotch after work.) Kids pinned the tail on a giant pink unicorn that Marley drew the night before; guests swung an old field hockey stick at a pinata; and everyone spent most of the party on the playground in the backyard.

Before the party, Marley had decreed that each guest should, and I quote, "Wear your best dress. And if you're a boy, wear handsome clothes." All the poof and tulle and flowers and sparkle were very sweet. And I got dressed up, too. I'd like to thank my Bean-Beanie for making it happen. She is, as always, a fashion inspiration. I've been reading one of Tim Gunn's books before conking out at night, and I thought of Bean during the chapter when he laments Americans' slovenly dress and reveals his distress at the overly casual clothes that people wear, for example, when traveling by plane. Here's something I'm pretty sure of: he would love Marley.

Todd and Will wore handsome clothes, and Rudy Toot wore the flower girl dress that Bean wore when Danielle and Jeff got married. (I can't take it! Rudy's like such a kid now!) And let's hear it for Will. Really. He was the only boy present who is not related to the birthday girl. Two other neighbors came over later, but by then things were winding down. And of course Jackson was there in a tie and a sweater vest, but he just hung out with his mom and dad, sucked down a bottle and some pureed carrots, and then headed home early for a nap. Will was there from beginning to end in dress shoes and a tie. He was like Todd's little sidekick, or at least that's the role I foisted on him when I kept asking them to get together for a picture.

Our kitchen table was out in the driveway so that I could fit three small tables in the same space. And so it was like a tiny wedding reception in my house. I got most of my supplies in the wedding section of a dollar store, and borrowed from Liz's extensive cake stand collection so that each table could have a sweet little display of cheese, fruit, and cookie cutter sandwiches which, of course, the kids didn't really even eat. After Todd and I churned out dozens of cucumber, ham and cheese, and peanut butter and fluff delights. Basically, the moms and dads on the perimeter of the party swooped in and ate up the tiny sandwiches the way that any parents eats the scraps on kids' plates in an effort to clean up. Except we felt especially pleased when scoring a fluffernutter. I think the kids' favorites were the boring old pretzel sticks and the pink lemonade served in small plastic wine glasses.

Then, everyone went back outside for more galloping around the yard and pinata and pin-the-tail action, and I got the room ready for the second course: Oreos, Rice Krispie Treats, and tiny chocolate cupcakes with extra-fancy gold, silver, and pearly sprinkles. Liz made her ridiculous almond-flavored cupcakes with cream cheese and coconut frosting, and I am stretching out those leftovers through the rest of this week. I plan to have one each night with a mug of tea by the fireplace. Which, by the way, we got going yesterday after we cleaned up, I changed into sweatpants, and Marley practically collapsed beside the torn cardboard and plastic from packages of things like a My Little Pony ferris wheel and some sort of miniature Barbie neighborhood that included six businesses: a pizza place, a dance studio, an ice cream shop, a flower stand, a jewelry store, and a place, I think, for posing by a wedding cake. What more does a girl need, I guess. Oh, Barbie.

The party was a resounding success, and Beanie and her guests had a swell time. For one thing, she looked very happy racing around the yard in her very poofy pink tea dress. Even better, Liz overheard one of Marley's classmates whisper, "Ohhh, this is fancy," while walking in to eat lunch. So, with the help of a couple of birthday elves I know, we pulled it off! An actual tea party. And by the way, Marley's birthday is what I'll choose to think of when I hear those words, oh, I don't know, in the news or something, because the other Tea Party makes me feel simultaneously nauseated and incredulous.

I would much rather feel fancy.