Indoctrination.

I don't expect Marley to be just like me. That wouldn't be right, or healthy. But I hope that we continue to have some shared interests as she grows. Right now coloring and making cookies is where we're at. And if she sticks with ballet and gymnastics, which are foreign to me, then good for her. If she doesn't, that's okay, too. I want for her to be physically active somehow, though, for her health and her sanity. And I want to expose her to the possibilities that athletics provide.

So a few weeks ago, when I was at Target (I wish I could collect some revenue for that mention, because I deserve it and I SO could use it.), I picked up some Champion C9 kids' gear. A hot pink short mesh skirt with built-in lycra shorts, and a dry-wick or whatever it's called shirt to match. It was all PINK and I thought, Marley will wear this and love this, and she'll be so cute when she's at lacrosse or field hockey practice with me in this get-up. A mini-me, true. But with Beanie-Pinkalicious flair.

When I showed her the outfit, her eyes lit up. I asked her if she'd wear it, and she said yes. Then she said, "But I need those shaky things," and shook her hands and arms by her face.

"What?"

"Those shaky things."

"Like...pom-poms?"

"Yeah." [smile] "Pom-poms."

So here we go. Marley wants to be a cheerleader. And let the record show, so did I when I was little. I actually cheered for the unfortunately named Midget Hawks when I was in seventh or eighth grade. What a mess. And my sister Danielle cheered in high school. I've BEEN to competitions. And I will say this: competition cheerleading is a heady mixture of straight-up athleticism (tumbling, dancing, lifts), sexuality (dancing, posing, uniforms, cheering on the boys), and a strange sort of, pervy sort of little girl mock-innocence (the curled ponytails and the often oversized STUFFED ANIMALS from boyfriends that each high school girl CLUTCHED like f-ed up talismans while watching other schools' routines). I can handle it. I will emphasize the first ingredient, deal with the second, and suggest that Marley bring Ghostie along to the competition if she really wants luck.

On the other hand, I am knowingly and purposefully using my influence to help Rudy LEARN TO LOVE Sesame Street. Because I love it. Because in my alternate dream universe, I worked with Jim Henson and Frank Oz and shuffled my Sesame Muppet around with Bert and Cookie Monster. COOKIE MONSTER! Can you beat that guy? No, you can't, and Rudy needs to see how great he is. When Marley was Rudy's age, Sesame Street is all we watched. But Rudy's sophisticated older sister enjoys Super Why and Sid the Science Kid and Martha Speaks and Word Girl and Yo Gabba Gabba! (Holler back, DJ Lance Rock!) and Max and Ruby, for starters, and so Sesame Street needs some LOVE from Rudy's mommy to get it back at the top of the playlist. And Marley doesn't mind, by the way. She still thinks Cookie Monster's hilarious. (Influenced, no doubt, by me, cracking up on the couch beside her when Cookie ambles over to the gang and grumbles, "Hey! What going on here?" We monster-growled that at each other all day as a result.)

Anyhow, yesterday, Marley was at preschool happily rocking stuffed kittens to sleep alongside a little girl whose parents went to high school with me. (And that sort of thing still trips me out. I called Liz before I left the parking lot to screech about how I just never thought my daughter would hang out with so-and-so's daughter. It's weird. But I like it in a lot of ways, too. Go Hawks.) Anyhow, Rudy and I went straight home since she's still recovering from pneumonia and a double ear infection and some major teething and the three vaccinations she got on Monday. And I put on Sesame Street. And I sat beside her and pointed excitedly at Elmo and Grover and kept saying things like, "Wow!" And "ELMO!" and then I sang along with Jason Mraz about fresh air and then Rudy smiled and pointed excitedly, too. So I think it's working.

And lastly, even though I've been at home with my kids for about four and a-half years now, I really felt like a STAY-AT-HOME mom Tuesday morning when I dropped Marley off at preschool with the Valentine's cookies we made the night before, packaged tidily and safely in the Snapware Cookie and Cupcake Carrier, which I got at my precious Container Store thanks to Kate and Liz. I was so proud of those flippin' cookies in that organized little case. So, you can feel bad for me and my sad little accomplishment that has VERY LITTLE to do with my POST-GRADUATE education, or you can feel happy that I am enjoying the little things. Little things like cookies, which takes us back to Cookie Monster and Sesame Street, and therefore brings us full-circle. Almost. Except for the pom-poms.