Her Royal Beanness.

My sisters both assumed that Marley would be bouncing off the walls while watching Kate Middleton marry Prince William last week. I did, too. I actually didn't tell Marley anything about the wedding too far in advance because I didn't want her to get all wrapped up in the princess hysteria. Months ago, she asked me if real princesses existed. I told her that they did, and then I may have gotten into how these princesses were kind and smart and spent a lot of time helping people. I can't remember. Maybe I told her they play like champions. With eyes of tigers. Poor Marley.

Anyhow, I do know that I purposely withheld the news of Kate and Wills's engagement from her, because, and this is dumb, I know, I didn't want her to think it was that easy, or something like that. And I knew that on the morning of the wedding, I'd be watching, and that she would most likely be up with me, but I didn't want there to be too much princess build-up. There's enough Disney Princess Propaganda all over the place, including, admittedly, my home, as it is.

And then Marley's preschool teachers announced that in addition to being "Blue Day" on Friday, April 29th, it would also be "Royal Day," and they encouraged the girls and boys to dress like princesses and princes. Okay. It is a moment in history when there's a royal wedding, and I have a fuzzy memory of walking out into the family room of my childhood home to see my mother sitting on the floor in front of the television early in the morning in June 1981, when Diana Spencer married Prince Charles. So I get that Beanie's teachers were helping these kids make some potential "where-were-you-when" memories. But, of course, I used the conversation Marley and I had about potential "Royal Day" dresses to have a talk about the reality of the situation. What a buzz-kill, right?

"So, Marley. Did you know that Kate and William, the two people getting married? Did you know that they met in college?"

"Oh."

"They met in college and they fell in love and have been boyfriend and girlfriend for a long time. And now they're going to get married. And because he's a prince, when she marries him, that makes her a princess."

"Oh. So now I have to find one."

"What! You have to find a prince? Why? Marley. Why do you want to be a princess?"

"Because then I would get to live in a castle. And people would clean up after me."

"But Marley, if you work hard and have a good job, you can buy your own great house. And pay someone to help you clean it up, if that's what you want. And hey. Bean. Do you feel like a princess now? Because I'm always cleaning up after you."

And then I remembered how William and Kate were publicizing their plans to live as normal a life as possible.

"Hey, Bean. You know what else? This prince and princess, do you know what they've told all the newspapers? After they're married, they're not going to have people clean up for them. They want to do it themselves. They want to do their own clean-ups."

At this point, Marley had already left the kitchen table and was heading into the playroom, completely over her mom's ridiculous and earnest lesson in the satisfaction of a strong work ethic.

But then, on Friday morning, guess who was the one all entranced in front of the television? Me. I could barely tear myself away from the motorcade to make it in time for boot camp, because I wanted to see what Kate's dress looked like. And it just went on too long for Marley. In Disney's Cinderella, for example, the newly married couple bounds gleefully down the red stairs outside the palace and then waves from their carriage, and it probably lasts less than a minute. So really, Marley would've been more excited by any one of the montages played Friday afternoon, and then all weekend. On Friday morning, she was all, "How much longer is this? I want to watch Looney Tunes." [And by the way, I am so glad that she's having a television phase that involves Bugs Bunny and his entourage. Toot, too. Today at lunch, while Rudy was eating baby carrots, she said, "What's up, Doc?" before every other bite. And kept laughing about it.]

Marley was still happy to dress for school in an old velvety blue princess costume I bought at an after-Halloween sale a few years ago. And she was delighted by her preschool teachers, who were dressed in old prom and bridesmaid dresses for class that morning. But when I reported to Heather and Danielle about her level of enthusiasm for the wedding itself, I surprised them when I said she wasn't that into it.

They were not surprised, though, when I elaborated by explaining that she loved all of the fancy hats that the guests were wearing. Several times, she commented on the hats. How she's always wanted to wear hats like that. That Marley. She is so fancy.